Pain is so messy, so unhinging, so inexplicable… I don’t think it was ever a conscious decision not to let others in on my pain. Part of it is how I am wired. The other part was learned. As a teenager and young adult, I revealed pain only when it bubbled over so much I…

We sat down in the coffee shop and our waiter nonchalantly asked us, “Anything big going on this week?” Jason and I both choked on our words and turned immediately to each other, a bit wide-eyed, pleading for a little help navigating this. In a barely perceptible motion I shook my head “no” and Jason…

We drew a hard line at the stim phase of IVF.  It seemed too arduous a process and a natural place to stop.  We would get whatever embryos we could and if none of them worked, we would be done. We started with 18 eggs and after fertilization and testing ended up with three embryos, which…