This is a re-written version of this letter to myself. I was never even a little bit kind to her. We’d been pushed together the whole of our lives without any choice at all, really. You’d think after 38 years there’d be some sort of peace offering, acceptance, or even a simple agreement. I couldn’t….
Pain is so messy, so unhinging, so inexplicable… I don’t think it was ever a conscious decision not to let others in on my pain. Part of it is how I am wired. The other part was learned. As a teenager and young adult, I revealed pain only when it bubbled over so much I…